By Kelly Schwarze
When I hear the words “mental health,” I usually picture things like meditation, relaxing, or getting a good night’s sleep. But in video production and filmmaking, mental health is much more complex than just taking a few deep breaths. I try to keep my life balanced, but honestly, this career has strongly affected my family and I. It takes extra effort to navigate the health of my mental state.
Like any entrepreneurial effort, stress is part of the game. However, in the motion picture industry we experience amazing highs and tough lows. There’s rarely a time when you feel truly stable or relaxed. You might feel anxious from the excitement of a movie premiere or production, or you might be stressed about how a film is doing, worrying about failures, or just waiting for your next paycheck.
For creators, it can feel like the definition of success keeps changing. Technology has made creating “easier,” but the marketplace is more stressful than ever due to the need to appease algorithms or stay on top of trends. And, if you’re making content for others, the pressure to deliver at a high level can feel overwhelming.
The Shy Kid and the Imposter
I’ve always been shy. Most of my life, I was quiet and preferred drawing in my room instead of meeting people. Filmmaking finally pushed me out of that comfort zone. It made me interact with others and get involved. Now, as I approach 48, I still deal with the same struggles, but I have managed to cope in more efficient and productive ways. Social anxiety is always there, but through practice, I have been able to overcome most of my deficiencies.
I also face imposter syndrome from time to time. Even though I’ve won Emmy awards, made many movies, and worked with amazing people, I sometimes sit with colleagues and feel like I don’t belong. I often wonder, “when are they going to realize I’m that same shy kid?”
Finding the Internal Rhythm
Even with these challenges, I’ve found ways to manage my mental health without using substances or medication. For me, it’s about keeping a daily routine that helps me stay balanced.
I focus a lot on morning meditation. I stay active and exercise during the day to manage stress. Most of all, I try to stay in my “creative flow.” As I get older, sleep is harder to come by, but I make every effort to go to bed at regular times and get quality sleep when I can. I’ve learned that by doing even a little bit of physical exercise each morning before the world steals my day, I can make myself feel better and less stressed.
I am pretty certain that the real reward is the sense of peace you feel while creating. That is certainly the case for me, and I find value in sharing that. No one else will be able to create that peace for you. It’s up to you and only you to make your life what you want it to be. If you don’t find some peace in the process of being creative, you might be missing the true purpose of the work.
The Quiet Battle with Depression
Like many others, I struggle with depression now and again. Sometimes it feels undeserved because I have a good life, a loving family, and strong support. I’ve learned to hide it well when it does pop up. But depression can sneak up on you when you least expect it and without any reason.
What helps me stay balanced and move forward without medication is taking action. I have to push myself out of a slump. I do this by creating, even when I don’t feel like it, and by facing situations that make me uncomfortable. If I am in a slump, I will force myself to go to networking mixers, send emails to colleagues I haven’t spoken to in a while, or even create a share a video on filmmaking with some type of educational value. That will often snap me right out of the fog and back into a better existing. I’m not perfect and still have work to do, but I’m committed to my health because it matters to my family and me.
The Reality of the Craft
Filmmaking and production are complex. The industry relies on trial and error. People outside of it often don’t see the “invisible” work. This includes many sleepless nights, stacks of quotes and proposals that go unanswered, and the staggering amount of energy you pour into some projects, only to watch it fail due to someone else’s bad decisions.
But even when you face failure or silence, remember that being able to create is the real reason why we do this job. I like to focus on moving forward and challenging myself creatively, no matter what critics or others expect from me.
In the end, your relationship with yourself matters most. If you can find peace in your work, the rest becomes less important.
